Thursday, May 17, 2012
Ages since I posted last. I went back to teaching in the spring and between classes, dissertations, administrative duties, writing and Skip's cancer, I stopped reading (except for class)-- and stopped writing here. A few desultory notes in my hard journal, but even that book has huge gaps. The only personal journal I've been keeping regularly is the one that tracks the progress of Skip's disease and the main events of our daily lives.
The last CT- scan shows that the cancer is stable (not getting better, but not spreading either), but the rhythm of our lives tells me that something has shifted. Skip's reaction to the chemo treatments has gotten more severe and it lasts for longer periods of time. We had our first night-fever-scare trip to the Emergency just last weekend. And he is coughing more.
Walks are more difficult and the past week I've been going on our daily post-dinner evening walk alone. Sweet smell of honeysuckle by one house and our favorite garden, the one that reminds us both of the summer we spent in Provence, has beautiful purple clematis blooming on the fence. The house and yard seem neglected- and the last time Skip and I walked together, we wondered whatever had happened to the lovely shy man who used to live there all year round. The cats at the neighborhood Siamese rescue center still come running to greet me. Mimi with her little ghost face is the most talkative. Tough Rami is more aloof, and I like to think he misses Skip.
I've started reading again and hope to have something bookish to post very soon.