weather and lesions

Amazing mornings all week. Sunday I woke up to great streaks of purple and gray in the sky, and a murder of crows perched on the dark tree branches. Later, 2 peregrine falcons came in-- so dramatic and stern that even our resident buck was subdued. He stood absolutely still until they had gone. Then this morning, incredible low fog-- reminded me of the romantic gothic landscapes Sally Mann photographs in her beloved Virginia. I just got a shipment of some fast speed b&w film yesterday-- so once I got muffins in the oven, I put on my leather jacket, grabbed my camera and went outside. Very mild weather and the trees were gorgeous in the fog. Spent about 20 minutes taking pics. A nice respite from some of the rigors of the week-- a week that's been very overshadowed by cancer concerns. New lesions on the top of Skip's skull-- at least new to us-- were confirmed by an X-ray Monday. He now has cancer in 6 areas of his body, that we know of: lung, liver, spine, chest cavity, base of skull and top of skull. Daunting. And so this week for the first time in weeks, I've been waking up with a face wet from tears. Apparently, I'm crying in my sleep.

I've been re-reading Artaud for an independent study I'm doing with a student. His Theater of Cruelty still as exhilarating as it was when I first read it-- back in my undergrad days. "The world is hungry and not concerned with culture" and "what is most important...is...to extract from what is called culture, ideas whose compelling force is identical with that of hunger." A challenge to all us working in the field of cultural aesthetics and politics.